I spent my Mabon bringing in hay. To be honest, I thought it was today.:/ I'm here in Central PA and, while I know there are like-minded individuals here that I am sure I could find, I tend to keep to my solitary ways. But I was wondering why I was itching to bake bread. Now I know.

We used to go to a shamanic circle down in the Philly area but... well... we don't go anymore due to... irreconcilable differences. Nuff said on that. And, frankly, I simply do not want to deal with any more drama in my life than I already have.

So yesterday was the first of two days we'll be baling and bringing in hay for the boarding farm where we keep our horses. Tinkerbell, our old dog, got stepped on and I had to doctor her wounded foot. I need to head out to Tractor Supply this am and get more supplies for it. :/

Mark and I are talking and trying to resolve a situation that doesn't really have any satisfactory compromises.

He has friends in the UK. Two of those friends are getting married in Newcastle (or near it) on January 5th. We expect to have the money from the settlement of Mark's mom's estate by then so technically we can afford to go. BUT there are lots of things I am having issues with.

Firstly, they really are Mark's friends and I really have no desire to spend 7+ hours on a plane, then 3+ hours on a train to go to a wedding in England in the middle of Winter (my apologies to those living in the UK, but damp and cold does not make for a happy Izzy.) Then even if we do go, where we would stay is an issue, coz the idea of crashing on someone's couch/floor/etc does not appeal to me. I am a very private person and very finicky about food, and a situtation like that just adds up to a whole boatload of misery for me. So that leaves us renting a hotel room for under $100/night when the US dollar is weak against the British pound, and eating at more expensive places than McDonald's UK.

The best flights so far are on British Airways leaving NYC on Dec 31st (Yes, New Years Eve) and coming back the following Monday (Jan 7.) He'd have to use up all his remaining vacation days, and I don't get paid time off so I'd lose a whole week of pay. The flight right now is $530/pp plus the train ride up to New Castle is 100 pounds which is about $200 US dollars (times 2.) So we are looking at $1500 in just travel costs, not including lodging, food, etc.

Plus another reason he is going is to surprise his other friend, so it's this big secret so the guy doesn't find out. (I remember a time when he used to plan big surprises for me, but alas... no longer.)

So now, we find out that said friend is going to be in London the week we arrive there (just try getting a room on London on New Years Eve for $100- yeah right!) and he will be staying with some other friends (who Mark also knows) until Jan 4th when they'll all go up to Newcastle for the wedding, BUT apparently the little gathering is "just some relaxing with 3 good friends, and, no offense, but you're not invited." Yes, that was a direct quote.

EXCUSE ME?? Mark flies almost 3500 miles across a friggin' OCEAN to surprise this guy, and we have to wait until we're in Newcastle for him to find out we're there, when we've been in the UK for 4 days already??! One of 2 things will happen: 1) Mark will find out he and this friend are not as close as he thinks they are (ergo, Mark will be hurt) or 2) the guy will find out we've been in the UK and, in the city where he was staying, for 4 days and didn't come to see him coz his other friend told us to get lost, and HE will be hurt and pissed off. Sounds like fun to me!

Did I mention that I have no room or patience for bullshit drama in my life? This crap makes me want to go even LESS. Add to all of that a price tag over $2500 and I REALLY don't want to deal.

So... we are faced with 3 choices: 1) neither of us go (Mark doesn't get to see his friends and he is unhappy/disappointed/etc.) 2) we both go, spend $2500+ for me to be miserable and have to deal with stupid drama shit, or 3) Mark goes by himself and I am left to sit at home while he spends $$$ and all of his vacation days on his friends so there is none left for us, and I am resentful that he puts +++ energy and $$$ into his friends then has none for me (this is an ongoing problem in our marriage.)

As I said, there is no real satifactory compromise here. I don't want to go, but I don't want him to miss seeing his friends and going to the wedding. At the same time the price tag is huge, and he'd use up all his vacation days.

Right now the offer on the table is for Mark go by himself but for a shorter trip. He'd go on the 2nd or 3rd instead of Dec 31st and come back on the 7th. That uses less vacation days, and more than halves the cost coz he'd happily crash on a couch and eat at burger joints whereas I won't. Then he says we'll take the $$ we saved with me not going, and use it to go on a trip with just the 2 of us in late Feb or early March when he has accrued more vacation days.

So far, it's the best option out of a bunch of not so great options. But I feel bad about the whole thing. He really wants me to go on this trip, and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind meeting his friends if it were cheaper, at a better time of year, and with a whole lot less drama.

I don't know how it will all play out. Right now we are watching the airfares to see if they come down any, and Mark is talking to the friends that do know "the big secret." Maybe a 4th option will come up that will the best of them all.

We'll see.

So... on this day 13 years ago, I married my best friend. The past 13 years have seen their share of ups and downs, but we've had each other and we're both better people together than we are apart.

We went to Cedar Point for the weekend to ride roller coasters, and there was plenty of that. Our room was very disappointing. We paid for a Queen and got a full. I knew there would be no view but I did not know there would be no view because the window would be shuttered and bolted shut. The walls were so thin we could hear EVERYTHING in the room next to us. And I do mean EVERYTHING. But all in all we got a very good deal and we had a lot of fun.

Brought something nasty back that attatched itself to me. Gave me nightmares until I woke up and realized that the visions weren't coming from me. At first I couldn't move or speak, but I relaxed and focused, and kept trying until it had to loose its hold on me. I woke Mark and he took care of the intruder. The shields around the house have been recalibrated for the new season and Mark says the guardians will keep the nasties out now. We think the thing got thru the first time coz it was on me and the house guardians missed it. But now that they know what to look for, they'll block it if it tries to get back in.

Haven't hit any Monarch butterflies with my car lately so that is a good thing, and today a wounded rabbit hopped in front of my car. It was limping and had the hair/flesh ripped from it's hind end on the right side. I think it got hit with something. Anyway, I stopped the car and got out my blanket from the back, then I talked to it and it hopped away for a few minutes then let me catch it. A local vet takes injured wildlife, so I took the bunny there. I think it'll be ok. The wounds looked awful and the poor thing was all bloody, but it looked superficial. If the leg isn't too badly broken, I think they'll be able to save it. *crosses fingers* I'll call tomorrow and find out.

Anyway, we're headed out to dinner now so I need to wrap this up.

Be safe all.

On Monday, I'll be married 13 years. I make jokes that I haven't killed him yet, but I do believe I lucked out with this one. :)

My first fiance was a sadistic bastard and I am glad I found the courage to get away from him. Mark was a godsend after that. He really is the only person I could have married because he's the only one who would ever accept my unique "quirks" of which there are many.

I'm not a very social person. I'm an only child of a divorced mom and I basically grew up alone. I entertained myself by making up characters in my head and i've been writing ever since. In that way, I'm never alone in my head, but sometimes it's hard for me to get out of my head and into the physical world. I'll go weeks without speaking to any of my friends. Thankfully, the only friends I really have are the ones who understand that about me and don't hold it against me.

I've been told I'm difficult to get along with. I guess it must be true.

But Mark puts up with me. He stays with me through my "moods" and he believes in me more than I believe in myself. When I have no faith left, I have faith in him.

We're gonna go ride roller coasters to celebrate our anniversary. Hey, life's a series of ups and downs, might as well take them at high speed. :) We're headed out to Cedar Point for the weekend. It's close and we can afford the trip so off we go. I wish it would be a little warmer, but 60 is ok. Nights will be cold tho. But it'll be nice to get away with just him and not have to worry about being on anyone else's schedule. ;)

Be back on Sunday. Be safe all and play nice.

Today was a perfect day The weather was just right. I got off work early. I went to see my horses.

I rode my 8-yr old and he did well, then I took out the old man and we had a nice slow walk. He's 21 and bowed a tendon last year. I got special tendon boots for him and did a lot of rehab stuff on him, but he'll never be up to trail riding again. Nowadays we just walk up to the front lawn and mow the grass for a bit, then we walk back.

I take him out coz if I don't he gets depressed. He sees me taking the kid out while he gets left behind. He hated that all winter when I didn't ride him at all. When I brought out his bridle this spring and put it on him, he was so excited he was trembling. Then I spent the next three weeks telling him "Walk Goddamnit!" coz he wanted to go go go they way we used to.

Maybe later this month he'll be up to a short ride up to the upper hayfield. We'll see. But I couldn't have asked for a better day. I need lots more just like it. Preferably when my husband is home.

No broken bones or dislocations. Just lots of bruising and she's in pain. Doc sent her home with Darvoset. 92 years old, takes a trip down the stairs, and doesn't break a bone.

Can you tell that osteoporosis is not a problem in my family? Five or so years ago, she ran herself over with her own car and got away with a fractured ankle. Like my mom says: "Tough old broad."

But I'm glad she is ok, relatively speaking. Her arm is in a sling until the swelling goes down, but she's gonna be fine. This is a good thing.