I spent my Mabon bringing in hay. To be honest, I thought it was today.:/ I'm here in Central PA and, while I know there are like-minded individuals here that I am sure I could find, I tend to keep to my solitary ways. But I was wondering why I was itching to bake bread. Now I know.

We used to go to a shamanic circle down in the Philly area but... well... we don't go anymore due to... irreconcilable differences. Nuff said on that. And, frankly, I simply do not want to deal with any more drama in my life than I already have.

So yesterday was the first of two days we'll be baling and bringing in hay for the boarding farm where we keep our horses. Tinkerbell, our old dog, got stepped on and I had to doctor her wounded foot. I need to head out to Tractor Supply this am and get more supplies for it. :/

Mark and I are talking and trying to resolve a situation that doesn't really have any satisfactory compromises.

He has friends in the UK. Two of those friends are getting married in Newcastle (or near it) on January 5th. We expect to have the money from the settlement of Mark's mom's estate by then so technically we can afford to go. BUT there are lots of things I am having issues with.

Firstly, they really are Mark's friends and I really have no desire to spend 7+ hours on a plane, then 3+ hours on a train to go to a wedding in England in the middle of Winter (my apologies to those living in the UK, but damp and cold does not make for a happy Izzy.) Then even if we do go, where we would stay is an issue, coz the idea of crashing on someone's couch/floor/etc does not appeal to me. I am a very private person and very finicky about food, and a situtation like that just adds up to a whole boatload of misery for me. So that leaves us renting a hotel room for under $100/night when the US dollar is weak against the British pound, and eating at more expensive places than McDonald's UK.

The best flights so far are on British Airways leaving NYC on Dec 31st (Yes, New Years Eve) and coming back the following Monday (Jan 7.) He'd have to use up all his remaining vacation days, and I don't get paid time off so I'd lose a whole week of pay. The flight right now is $530/pp plus the train ride up to New Castle is 100 pounds which is about $200 US dollars (times 2.) So we are looking at $1500 in just travel costs, not including lodging, food, etc.

Plus another reason he is going is to surprise his other friend, so it's this big secret so the guy doesn't find out. (I remember a time when he used to plan big surprises for me, but alas... no longer.)

So now, we find out that said friend is going to be in London the week we arrive there (just try getting a room on London on New Years Eve for $100- yeah right!) and he will be staying with some other friends (who Mark also knows) until Jan 4th when they'll all go up to Newcastle for the wedding, BUT apparently the little gathering is "just some relaxing with 3 good friends, and, no offense, but you're not invited." Yes, that was a direct quote.

EXCUSE ME?? Mark flies almost 3500 miles across a friggin' OCEAN to surprise this guy, and we have to wait until we're in Newcastle for him to find out we're there, when we've been in the UK for 4 days already??! One of 2 things will happen: 1) Mark will find out he and this friend are not as close as he thinks they are (ergo, Mark will be hurt) or 2) the guy will find out we've been in the UK and, in the city where he was staying, for 4 days and didn't come to see him coz his other friend told us to get lost, and HE will be hurt and pissed off. Sounds like fun to me!

Did I mention that I have no room or patience for bullshit drama in my life? This crap makes me want to go even LESS. Add to all of that a price tag over $2500 and I REALLY don't want to deal.

So... we are faced with 3 choices: 1) neither of us go (Mark doesn't get to see his friends and he is unhappy/disappointed/etc.) 2) we both go, spend $2500+ for me to be miserable and have to deal with stupid drama shit, or 3) Mark goes by himself and I am left to sit at home while he spends $$$ and all of his vacation days on his friends so there is none left for us, and I am resentful that he puts +++ energy and $$$ into his friends then has none for me (this is an ongoing problem in our marriage.)

As I said, there is no real satifactory compromise here. I don't want to go, but I don't want him to miss seeing his friends and going to the wedding. At the same time the price tag is huge, and he'd use up all his vacation days.

Right now the offer on the table is for Mark go by himself but for a shorter trip. He'd go on the 2nd or 3rd instead of Dec 31st and come back on the 7th. That uses less vacation days, and more than halves the cost coz he'd happily crash on a couch and eat at burger joints whereas I won't. Then he says we'll take the $$ we saved with me not going, and use it to go on a trip with just the 2 of us in late Feb or early March when he has accrued more vacation days.

So far, it's the best option out of a bunch of not so great options. But I feel bad about the whole thing. He really wants me to go on this trip, and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind meeting his friends if it were cheaper, at a better time of year, and with a whole lot less drama.

I don't know how it will all play out. Right now we are watching the airfares to see if they come down any, and Mark is talking to the friends that do know "the big secret." Maybe a 4th option will come up that will the best of them all.

We'll see.